You have accurate prospect data, healthy deliverability, and high open rates, and yet...no one responds to your emails. If that sounds familiar, this article is for you!
- Make your opening line all about the prospect
- Ask more, tell less
- Provide concrete value in your call to action
1. Make your opening line all about the prospect
One of the reasons cold outreach is so challenging is that decision makers are busy, and have increasingly short attention spans. So no pressure...but that opening line better be good! It can be tempting (and may actually seem polite) to write a lengthy introduction explaining who you are, where you work, and why you are emailing. However, the chances of the reader making it to your killer CTA decrease with every extra second it takes to get there.
The opening sentence ultimately needs to be centered on the prospect, NOT you.
Make it as customized as possible, by industry, title, shared experience, etc. And extra bonus points if you can make your email sound timely- as if something just happened that makes it the perfect time to send this email.
Generic:
I'm XXX from XXX. We provide SEO and website design services and I think {{Company}} could be a good fit.
Better:
I just got off a strategy call with Wolfgang Puck, and there are some insights from the SEO work we're doing for them that could be helpful to {{Company}}'s restaurants.
A super easy way to build trust with prospects is if they are in the same city as you, or if they are in a city you're familiar with.
Generic:
I came across {{Company}}'s blog, I'm also a writer and might be able to be of service.
Better:
What a crazy winter we had here in New York! Hope you survived it; looks like {{Company}}'s blog feed benefited from all that time you had stuck inside.
If you are really struggling to come up with a clever way to connect yourself with your prospects, just skip the fluff all together and get right into asking direct questions about them, or asking a question that might spark their interest.
Intriguing, personalized opening question:
Are you exploring augmented reality and the metaverse at your record label?
Versus bland opening statement:
I'm XXX and I founded an agency that builds social media campaigns using augmented reality.
2. Ask more, tell less
Scroll through your own inbox for cold emails and you'll notice a trend- people listing out all the amazing things their company can do, without any effort at customization or a single question about you.
This is the most common pitfall in outreach scripts- an apparent lack of interest in the prospect and what they are going through. Before starting a new script, think hard about your buyer personas... Who are they? What are they struggling with? What specific value can you provide to them? Putting yourself in the shoes of the reader will always help you write a more compelling and authentic email.
Simple rearranging your copy to include more questions and less statements can transform the tone of your email, and improve reply rates.
We help our clients find Shopify stores, then connect with them through cold outreach.
Versus:
Are you targeting Shopify stores as part of your outbound sales strategy? Can I show you how we can help you find and connect with these companies faster?
It might take a little more creative thinking, but it is possible to communicate your solutions as questions, rather than statements that list your capabilities.
In today's market, the demand for engineering talent his higher than the supply. We solve that problem with our network of technical freelance talent.
Versus:
Are you feeling the same crunch as almost every other CTO ... demand for engineering talent is way higher than the supply in today's market?
If I could recommend a specific freelancer to fill your most technical, senior-level gaps at {{Company}}, would that interest you?
3. Provide concrete value in your call to action
Another way to win more meetings from your emails is to offer the prospect something concrete and meaningful in exchange for their time. Nobody wants to go out for coffee with that friend who only talks about themselves, especially if they're going to make you pay for the coffee at the end!
Rather than simply asking for a phone call, try getting more creative with a Call to Action that clearly benefits the prospect if they say "yes."
Can we hop on a call so I can explain more about our video production services?
Versus:
If you ship XXX product to our studio, we'll make you an awesome 10 second video that's yours to keep. Would you be open to that?
Or, if you're hesitant to create extra work for yourself, try offering something that you've already prepared. Just make sure that it sounds personalized.
Interested to hear more about our bookkeeping services?
Versus:
I put together quick questionnaire for {{Company}} that can bring to light how how well you're using your financial data. Would you be interested in taking the assessment to see where you land?
Conclusion
Most bad outreach scripts (as with most bad conversations in real life) are all about me, me, me; I, I, I.
Flipping your script to focus 100% on the prospect (what are they struggling with, and what can you offer them that they've never been offered before?) will probably take some extra segmentation and research, but your reply rates will go up.
Worth it? We think yes!
